two-way streets.

this is going to be another somewhat negative post, but i want/need to get it out there.

i don't have time for one-way street relationships anymore.

this post is to nobody in particular. it's just a culmination of feelings built up over the years, and the "you" in this blog entry is really a universal "you."

i am so tired of putting in the effort to listen to your problems without you ever asking about how my day was. i am tired of always making the plans. i am sad that you don't take the effort to reach out to me first. i am frustrated that these feelings really point out the flaws in me and that i should be the one to change, not you.

as i get older, i really want to surround myself with positive people whom i love, whom i want to make the effort for. the importance of two-way street relationships to me has grown over the years. i tell my little ones who are just out of college that the ones who matter will keep in touch. oftentimes it's because i'm the one who's stopped contact, and people have phased out of my life...but again, i'm also a firm believer in seasonal friendships. it's sad but true. some friends will be there in certain/specific stages of your life, and that's a-okay.

but sometimes when i'm told to look to Jesus, i see that He's the one reaching out to me first and i'm the bad friend/daughter. so really, who am i to criticize the people in my life when i act just like them?

i don't know. what do i do?