forgive the plethora of blog posts for the next 24 hours. i'm staying home from work today and tmrw and maybe friday...which will be explained in an imminent blog post. but i also need this blog to help me process everything that's going on in my life right now because...
i'm confused/sad/hurt/tired/angry/tired/blessed/happy/tired.
two theme songs of my life at the current moment and on constant repeat:
sara bareilles - let the rain
and
the hymn entitled "beneath the cross of jesus"
been getting me through the past few days. a glimpse into my soul through beautiful lyrics...
Let The Rain
I wish I were pretty
I wish I were brave
If I owned this city
Then I'd make it behave
And if I were fearless
Then I'd speak my truth
And the world would hear this
That's what I wish I'd do, yeah
If my hands could hold them you'd see
I'd take all these secrets in me
And I'd move and mold them to be
Something I'd set free
I want to darken in the skies
Open the floodgates up
I want to change my mind
I want to be enough
I want the water in my eyes
I want to cry until the end of time
I want to let the rain come down
Make a brand new ground
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down
Make a brand new ground
Let the rain come down tonight
I hold on to worry so tight
It's safe in here right next to my heart
Who now shouts at the top of her voice
Let me go, let me out, this is not my choice
And I always felt it before
That the world was filled with much more
Than the drowning soul I've learned to be
I just need the rain to remind me
I want to darken in the skies
Open the floodgates up
I want to change my mind
I want to be enough
I want the water in my eyes
I want to cry until the end of time
I want to let the rain come down
Make a brand new ground
Let the rain come down
Let the rain come down
Make a brand new ground
Let the rain come down tonight
--
Beneath the Cross of Jesus
Beneath the cross of Jesus I fain would take my stand,
The shadow of a mighty rock within a weary land;
A home within the wilderness, a rest upon the way,
From the burning of the noontide heat, and the burden of the day.
There lies beneath its shadow but on the further side
The darkness of an awful grave that gapes both deep and wide
And there between us stands the cross two arms outstretched to save
A watchman set to guard the way from that eternal grave.
Upon that cross of Jesus mine eye at times can see
The very dying form of One Who suffered there for me;
And from my stricken heart with tears two wonders I confess;
The wonders of redeeming love and my unworthiness.
I take, O cross, thy shadow for my abiding place;
I ask no other sunshine than the sunshine of His face;
Content to let the world go by to know no gain or loss,
My sinful self my only shame, my glory all the cross.
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