5am.

it's inevitable.

every spring, my normal hour of rising is 5am. i don't know whether to be annoyed (because i am desperately craving sleep) or thankful. i know it's gonna get old one day, but for the moment i am trying to cherish this early wake-up call (physical and metaphorical). because i need it. why, you ask? well, all this past winter long, i slept for hours. way longer than i wanted/expected. i refused to get out of bed, unable to face the miserable day ahead and unable to conquer my debilitating thoughts of despair...so i find my 5am risings quite a blessing actually. refreshing. and maybe i really do take after mama choi - she wakes up daily at around 4-5am. these early mornings don't make me do...they just force me to be. in the quiet, in the stillness...You are there. and for all of this, i am extremely grateful.

but i think i'm also jetlagged, not gonna lie haha. i woke up pretty early everyday in costa rica, but that was because i was in an unfamiliar, albeit ridiculously beautiful, place. when i was there, though, i was never annoyed. (well, that's actually a lie. it was pretty painful waking up so early when i was hungover, but that's a story for another day.) one of my absolute favorite mornings in costa rica was sitting outside of my hotel room at hotel california (snort) in manuel antonio at 6am. i finally had the chance to sit down and read the Word, reflect, sip coffee, watch spider monkeys jump from tree to tree outside our room with the ocean in the distance. just be. how incredibly thankful i am for moments of stillness like that. my canadian friend, tim, has insane insomnia and ended up interrupting my solitude that morning...but i wasn't bothered. my convo with him that morning was actually one of the most honest, heartfelt, personal convos i had on the trip, and i am thankful for that too. so early mornings are happy mornings. i'm not complaining.

on the flipside, i have had a very busy 3 days since my return. had to turn in an application on friday. did spring cleaning on saturday. attended my high school prom date's wedding on sat night (awesome awesome wedding. so fun) and picked up sister at the airport very late on sat night. participated in the 2nd annual atwater village simplicity sale on sun morning and made a pretty good profit - $68!! thus allowing for a daikokuya dinner and groceries AND getting rid of some crap. it was a good and tiring weekend.

today i officially start a new endeavor. this week is already so busy, i feel it in my bones. but i am trusting and praying and hoping and loving. the Lord is good - if He is for me, who can be against me? i don't want to post my costa rica pix on fb yet bc i'm too tired and also bc it really means my trip is over. and i am wanting to ride the waves of good feelings for a little while at least.

on a different note, i am obsessed with mumford & sons right now. "awake my soul" = theme of my trip. i literally cried when i played that song towards the end of my trip. and "roll away your stone" just resonates with us all.