"i want to hang out when you're sad, too."

my high school friend said that to me today over lunch.

we hadn't hung out since last summer. and i was telling her that that was probably for the better because the last few months of 2010 were just so depressing and i wouldn't have much to talk about. and she tells me that it would make HER feel better if we hung out when i'm sad too. that i don't have to be happy all the time when we hang out.

and that comment went straight to the heart. i was very touched.

i don't know how it came to be but over the years, i've developed this warped definition of friendship. i feel like i can't/won't be able to hang out with my friends if i don't have stories to tell them. silence to me feels so very awkward unless i'm with immediate family. i treasure the very few friendships that i am able to enjoy comfortable silence. sometimes i feel like i have an obligation to entertain rather than to just be. i don't like being the debbie downer in a friendship, but that's a very unrealistic take on relationships, right? nobody can be happy all the time. but i feel that i burden my friends when i am low and depressed.

growing pains and baby steps and lessons learned each and every day.

i want to hang out when you're sad, too. because ultimately we're here to bear each other's burdens while celebrating each other's joys.